Class of 2013
I got stuck in the idea that I was worthless and no one cared. But this is never true. Everyone is cared about. No one is worthless.
I was introduced to the concept of self-harm in my sophomore year of high school. Before then I had heard about it, but never thought anyone actually did it. All through sophomore year I struggled with trying to help my best friend fight through it. I was constantly upset and stressed and worried, but I held it together for her.
The summer before junior year she broke off all ties with me. I was devastated and fell into a depression. During this time I began dating a guy who was four years older than me. It was not a good relationship and I struggled with his controlling nature and constant outbursts. This created turmoil in my home life. Added with the stress of losing all of my friends in high school and dealing with rumors being spread among the school, I turned to self-harm.
I argued that it wasn’t that bad and I had control over it. Because I lost all control in the rest of my life, I soon began doing it regularly. My life became more stressful with my boyfriend feeding off of my insecurities and making me feel worse.
Even after that relationship ended I began another, which was even worse. My new boyfriend did hardcore drugs regularly. I sunk into a dark place in my mind and even considered running away and suicide.
Although I never attempted suicide, I began to have panic attacks. I stopped being able to sleep and eat. I felt horrible about myself and believed no one would ever want me and that I would amount to nothing in the world. I told my parents I didn’t want to go to college and was planning on moving in with my boyfriend as soon as I turned 18.
I could not be happier that this did not happen.
As soon as my parents found out that I didn’t want to go to college they emailed both of my art teachers and told them. I am so thankful for both of them. They took time out of their classes and after school (more than four hours) to talk to me. At the end of that conversation I felt better than I had all year. I felt believed in and inspired that I could make something of myself.
Before I turned 18, I broke up with my boyfriend, found friends who willingly accepted me, and applied to four colleges. I got accepted to each one. Now I am about to complete my first year of college in the major of my choice, on path to my dream job. I have an amazing relationship with my family and a wonderful boyfriend of one and a half years.
I have learned so much about myself from my last year in high school. I felt lower than I could ever feel. I am eternally grateful for my teachers for speaking to me that day and giving me enough confidence to push forward and make a change. My particular school in Fairfax County Virginia is a stressful school, and high school in general is awful. But I got through it. I got stuck in the idea that I was worthless and no one cared. But this is never true. Everyone is cared about. No one is worthless. Everybody deserves love and acceptance and should never have to settle for anything less than that.
In the risk of sounding cheesy, it gets better. The worst year of my life ended and the best year began. So don’t give up hope.
You are not alone. Together we can be resilient. However, this website is not to be used in place of therapy or other forms of help. Non-judgmental help is available 24-7: Call Crisis Link at 1-800-273-TALK(8255). Text with a Crisis Text Line specialist, by texting “TALK” to 741-741. (You can also go to your nearest emergency room or call 911.)
You can also chat online with a specialist at CrisisChat.org (between 2pm and 2am) or ImAlive.org. Many other links to various types of assistance are also available on our RESOURCES page. Help is out there. Reach out, for yourself, or for someone else.
I got stuck in the idea that I was worthless and no one cared. But this is never true. Everyone is cared about. No one is worthless.
I was introduced to the concept of self-harm in my sophomore year of high school. Before then I had heard about it, but never thought anyone actually did it. All through sophomore year I struggled with trying to help my best friend fight through it. I was constantly upset and stressed and worried, but I held it together for her.
The summer before junior year she broke off all ties with me. I was devastated and fell into a depression. During this time I began dating a guy who was four years older than me. It was not a good relationship and I struggled with his controlling nature and constant outbursts. This created turmoil in my home life. Added with the stress of losing all of my friends in high school and dealing with rumors being spread among the school, I turned to self-harm.
I argued that it wasn’t that bad and I had control over it. Because I lost all control in the rest of my life, I soon began doing it regularly. My life became more stressful with my boyfriend feeding off of my insecurities and making me feel worse.
Even after that relationship ended I began another, which was even worse. My new boyfriend did hardcore drugs regularly. I sunk into a dark place in my mind and even considered running away and suicide.
Although I never attempted suicide, I began to have panic attacks. I stopped being able to sleep and eat. I felt horrible about myself and believed no one would ever want me and that I would amount to nothing in the world. I told my parents I didn’t want to go to college and was planning on moving in with my boyfriend as soon as I turned 18.
I could not be happier that this did not happen.
As soon as my parents found out that I didn’t want to go to college they emailed both of my art teachers and told them. I am so thankful for both of them. They took time out of their classes and after school (more than four hours) to talk to me. At the end of that conversation I felt better than I had all year. I felt believed in and inspired that I could make something of myself.
Before I turned 18, I broke up with my boyfriend, found friends who willingly accepted me, and applied to four colleges. I got accepted to each one. Now I am about to complete my first year of college in the major of my choice, on path to my dream job. I have an amazing relationship with my family and a wonderful boyfriend of one and a half years.
I have learned so much about myself from my last year in high school. I felt lower than I could ever feel. I am eternally grateful for my teachers for speaking to me that day and giving me enough confidence to push forward and make a change. My particular school in Fairfax County Virginia is a stressful school, and high school in general is awful. But I got through it. I got stuck in the idea that I was worthless and no one cared. But this is never true. Everyone is cared about. No one is worthless. Everybody deserves love and acceptance and should never have to settle for anything less than that.
In the risk of sounding cheesy, it gets better. The worst year of my life ended and the best year began. So don’t give up hope.
You are not alone. Together we can be resilient. However, this website is not to be used in place of therapy or other forms of help. Non-judgmental help is available 24-7: Call Crisis Link at 1-800-273-TALK(8255). Text with a Crisis Text Line specialist, by texting “TALK” to 741-741. (You can also go to your nearest emergency room or call 911.)
You can also chat online with a specialist at CrisisChat.org (between 2pm and 2am) or ImAlive.org. Many other links to various types of assistance are also available on our RESOURCES page. Help is out there. Reach out, for yourself, or for someone else.
