Class of 2013
It was a dark and tranquil place I could go to create something from absolutely nothing, and the magic of that always brightened my day
High school was a rough time for me, I suffered from severe social anxiety, but due to the nature of how my family viewed mental illness, I was never permitted to be treated until my freshman year of college.
All through high school I worried about what my classmates thought of me, what my friends thought of me, what my teachers thought of me etc. It was always on my mind. In addition to the crippling lack of self confidence I possessed, my particular school in Northern Virginia, just outside of Washington, DC, is a school that pushes you to the edge. My college admissions counselor at my current college actually told me that they mentally bump up the GPAs of kids from my school and a few other high schools due to what they call the “stress factor”. The “stress factor” is something my college uses to explain schools that push their students to be “the best of the best” while giving them harder course material.
When I was in high school, I found a lot of the teachers I had didn’t look at me as a human. The treatment I got from them was that I was a number. My grades directly affected their “grade” with the school which affects their status. So really my experience with my classes in high school was a never ceasing vibe of: “you will be amazing or I will lose my job and if I lose my job I won’t make life fun for you”. This was not true with a few particular teachers, but painfully present in many departments.
While attending high school I attempted suicide six different times. Yet each time, my body rejected my attempt, and I woke up the next morning. If it weren’t for my body’s extreme tolerance for mistreatment, I could have easily been one of the numbers you see in statistics and articles about our school’s serious problem.
My sophomore and junior years I can’t think of a day I didn’t want to die. All four years of high school I was locked in battle with the beast known as self-harm. The entire time I was in high school I didn’t have much of a support system, and I definitely didn’t find any help at school.
The only outlets I had at school were art classes, they were the reason I dragged myself through the school's door almost every day. Hiding away in my school's art wing was my therapy. My junior year I fell in love with the darkroom because it was a dark and tranquil place I could go to create something from absolutely nothing, and the magic of that always brightened my day. I’d stay through my whole lunch and create. It was my favorite thing in the world.
The Art Program at my Fairfax County high school is probably the best thing about the school, and I would really suggest it to anyone. It not only provides you with an outlet for your feelings but gives you a second family. My classmates came to feel like my siblings and I’d take any of the teachers in that department as an adoptive parent any day of the week. They are some of the best human beings I’ve had the privilege of knowing. If you ever feel alone or without hope, the art wing is the place to go. Even if you’re not reaching out to anyone, the positive vibes coming from everyone there are incredible.
The only other piece of advice I’d have to give is talk to anyone who will listen. Things got immensely better for me when I surrounded myself with people who wanted to hear what was troubling me and see me improve mentally. Talk talk talk! Bottling things up only leads to self destruction!
You are not alone. Together we can be resilient. However, this website is not to be used in place of therapy or other forms of help. Non-judgmental help is available 24-7: Call Crisis Link at 1-800-273-TALK(8255). Text with a Crisis Text Line specialist, by texting “TALK” to 741-741. (You can also go to your nearest emergency room or call 911.)
You can also chat online with a specialist at CrisisChat.org (between 2pm and 2am) or ImAlive.org. Many other links to various types of assistance are also available on our RESOURCES page. Help is out there. Reach out, for yourself, or for someone else.
It was a dark and tranquil place I could go to create something from absolutely nothing, and the magic of that always brightened my day
High school was a rough time for me, I suffered from severe social anxiety, but due to the nature of how my family viewed mental illness, I was never permitted to be treated until my freshman year of college.
All through high school I worried about what my classmates thought of me, what my friends thought of me, what my teachers thought of me etc. It was always on my mind. In addition to the crippling lack of self confidence I possessed, my particular school in Northern Virginia, just outside of Washington, DC, is a school that pushes you to the edge. My college admissions counselor at my current college actually told me that they mentally bump up the GPAs of kids from my school and a few other high schools due to what they call the “stress factor”. The “stress factor” is something my college uses to explain schools that push their students to be “the best of the best” while giving them harder course material.
When I was in high school, I found a lot of the teachers I had didn’t look at me as a human. The treatment I got from them was that I was a number. My grades directly affected their “grade” with the school which affects their status. So really my experience with my classes in high school was a never ceasing vibe of: “you will be amazing or I will lose my job and if I lose my job I won’t make life fun for you”. This was not true with a few particular teachers, but painfully present in many departments.
While attending high school I attempted suicide six different times. Yet each time, my body rejected my attempt, and I woke up the next morning. If it weren’t for my body’s extreme tolerance for mistreatment, I could have easily been one of the numbers you see in statistics and articles about our school’s serious problem.
My sophomore and junior years I can’t think of a day I didn’t want to die. All four years of high school I was locked in battle with the beast known as self-harm. The entire time I was in high school I didn’t have much of a support system, and I definitely didn’t find any help at school.
The only outlets I had at school were art classes, they were the reason I dragged myself through the school's door almost every day. Hiding away in my school's art wing was my therapy. My junior year I fell in love with the darkroom because it was a dark and tranquil place I could go to create something from absolutely nothing, and the magic of that always brightened my day. I’d stay through my whole lunch and create. It was my favorite thing in the world.
The Art Program at my Fairfax County high school is probably the best thing about the school, and I would really suggest it to anyone. It not only provides you with an outlet for your feelings but gives you a second family. My classmates came to feel like my siblings and I’d take any of the teachers in that department as an adoptive parent any day of the week. They are some of the best human beings I’ve had the privilege of knowing. If you ever feel alone or without hope, the art wing is the place to go. Even if you’re not reaching out to anyone, the positive vibes coming from everyone there are incredible.
The only other piece of advice I’d have to give is talk to anyone who will listen. Things got immensely better for me when I surrounded myself with people who wanted to hear what was troubling me and see me improve mentally. Talk talk talk! Bottling things up only leads to self destruction!
You are not alone. Together we can be resilient. However, this website is not to be used in place of therapy or other forms of help. Non-judgmental help is available 24-7: Call Crisis Link at 1-800-273-TALK(8255). Text with a Crisis Text Line specialist, by texting “TALK” to 741-741. (You can also go to your nearest emergency room or call 911.)
You can also chat online with a specialist at CrisisChat.org (between 2pm and 2am) or ImAlive.org. Many other links to various types of assistance are also available on our RESOURCES page. Help is out there. Reach out, for yourself, or for someone else.
