Class of 2004
I would keep happy appearances on the outside, but inside I was hurting.
Self-esteem, body image, social standing, grades, and striving to be good enough weighed heavily on me during high school. I struggled with severe depression. In middle school I was suicidal and a friend told my guidance counselor. It made my parents aware but I don’t think they knew what to do.
I struggled with depression, suicidal ideation and self-harming throughout high school. I suffered alone and quietly. I wrote suicide notes.
But I was also the chameleon. It was a dark secret and after being “discovered” in middle school- I struggled to keep that side hidden. I didn’t want anybody to know. I would keep happy appearances on the outside, but inside I was hurting. My friends who I did tell in high school- NEVER told anybody. Silence allows suicide to happen.
I wish I could go back and talk to former me. I wish I could tell myself that I did not have to suffer. I could have gotten help. I could have gone to counseling. I did not have to suffer.
I graduated from high school in Northern Virginia, and I have known three people who have committed suicide. I’ve seen the damage it does. I’ve seen the broken families and friends bearing the burden of hurt and paint left by the sudden, burning absence of their loved one. I’ve been one of those friends. Watching my classmates carry the coffin of a friend when we were just 21- that image has stuck with me. We were too young to be burying one of our own.
Eventually, things got better. So much better. Life is great. Although, I would not have made it without my art classes, the theater program, and my academy dance class. I wrote poems. I made art. I talked to people. They made high school mean something to me. They gave me the skills to take me to college. They gave me the skills that gave me a career.
There were moments that were so dark- but at the end of the day- I’m glad I lived through them, because they make today even more worth it.
You are not alone. Together we can be resilient. However, this website is not to be used in place of therapy or other forms of help. Non-judgmental help is available 24-7: Call Crisis Link at 1-800-273-TALK(8255). Text with a Crisis Text Line specialist, by texting “TALK” to 741-741. (You can also go to your nearest emergency room or call 911.)
You can also chat online with a specialist at CrisisChat.org (between 2pm and 2am) or ImAlive.org. Many other links to various types of assistance are also available on our RESOURCES page. Help is out there. Reach out, for yourself, or for someone else.
I would keep happy appearances on the outside, but inside I was hurting.
Self-esteem, body image, social standing, grades, and striving to be good enough weighed heavily on me during high school. I struggled with severe depression. In middle school I was suicidal and a friend told my guidance counselor. It made my parents aware but I don’t think they knew what to do.
I struggled with depression, suicidal ideation and self-harming throughout high school. I suffered alone and quietly. I wrote suicide notes.
But I was also the chameleon. It was a dark secret and after being “discovered” in middle school- I struggled to keep that side hidden. I didn’t want anybody to know. I would keep happy appearances on the outside, but inside I was hurting. My friends who I did tell in high school- NEVER told anybody. Silence allows suicide to happen.
I wish I could go back and talk to former me. I wish I could tell myself that I did not have to suffer. I could have gotten help. I could have gone to counseling. I did not have to suffer.
I graduated from high school in Northern Virginia, and I have known three people who have committed suicide. I’ve seen the damage it does. I’ve seen the broken families and friends bearing the burden of hurt and paint left by the sudden, burning absence of their loved one. I’ve been one of those friends. Watching my classmates carry the coffin of a friend when we were just 21- that image has stuck with me. We were too young to be burying one of our own.
Eventually, things got better. So much better. Life is great. Although, I would not have made it without my art classes, the theater program, and my academy dance class. I wrote poems. I made art. I talked to people. They made high school mean something to me. They gave me the skills to take me to college. They gave me the skills that gave me a career.
There were moments that were so dark- but at the end of the day- I’m glad I lived through them, because they make today even more worth it.
You are not alone. Together we can be resilient. However, this website is not to be used in place of therapy or other forms of help. Non-judgmental help is available 24-7: Call Crisis Link at 1-800-273-TALK(8255). Text with a Crisis Text Line specialist, by texting “TALK” to 741-741. (You can also go to your nearest emergency room or call 911.)
You can also chat online with a specialist at CrisisChat.org (between 2pm and 2am) or ImAlive.org. Many other links to various types of assistance are also available on our RESOURCES page. Help is out there. Reach out, for yourself, or for someone else.
