Class of 2010
I ended up falling into a category of being “just one of the Asians”. Ask any Asian student at my school- they know what I mean.
I grew up in Alexandria, Virginia. Demographically, the area and my peers were a lot more diverse than my high school in Fairfax, Virginia. I was accustomed to being with many more African-American and Hispanic students (I am Asian). The acceptance and friendships were easy because I had grown up with many of my friends throughout elementary school and into middle school.
The summer before high school, I moved to Fairfax and began high school. There, I noticed an immediate shift. Not only was I a new kid, I was also immersed in an unknown social atmosphere. I was not used to seeing so many Asian students in a school. Frankly, the socioeconomic shift was alarming to me. I ended up falling into a category of being “just one of the Asians”. Ask any Asian student at my school- they know what I mean.
I stressed over making new friends, fitting in, and academics all at once. Furthermore as a girl, I was dealing with extreme insecurity and belonging issues. It was beyond painful. I fell into depression (in my opinion, severely) during my freshman and most of my sophomore year of high school. It lessened toward my upper-class years, but I still carried a lot of bitterness/anger throughout high school, because I hated where I was and I felt like no one related to my experiences/personality. Thus, the thought of suicide was occasionally a fleeting thought. In the end, I just slept a lot and ate a lot without anyone, hope, or help.
My parents did not play an active role in helping to treat my depression. Furthermore (based solely on my own personal experiences, and the experiences of my friends), many Asian parents have not yet accepted the idea of psychological illnesses or needs. For many, it is unacceptable to see a psychologist/psychiatrist or receive help/support such as this. Whether my parents were convinced that I was actually depressed or were in denial about it, no one even mentioned the thought of me seeing a counselor or having a mentor, and it is something that saddens me. I wish I knew I had that option, and maybe I may have found hope earlier.
Another stereotype about Asian parents, which also holds true for many non-Asian parents as well, is the pressure that is put on the children. They invest all their time and energy making sure their children are successful (not only because it looks good, but because it’s sometimes their retirement plan). With the ever increasing standards to get into college these days, high school students are bombarded with extreme pressures of balancing academic, social, and extracurricular activities. Many parents, Asian or not, may not even realize that they contribute to these high expectations.
Personally, both time and graduation from high school were my liberation, but every individual is different. I just remember that high school was really tough to deal with. With gradual acceptance of my predicament and powerlessness to change the school I was in, I attempted to just blend in and embrace the little enjoyment I was offered with certain courses. Art as well as AP English served as a brief outlet during those days because I did feel a lot safer and comfortable in those classes. In my belief, it's the teachers that foster that community. In general, I carried a lot of bitterness/anger throughout high school, because I hated where I was and I felt like no one related to my experiences or personality.
It is hope for something or anything that really pulls students through. In retrospect, for me, that was something that was found in college. It was never discovered or seemed available in high school. It’s knowing that one can and will get through it especially with the support that does exist. I think that many times, when a student is drowning in hopeless, self-deprecating thoughts, the smallest experiences such as bullying, snide remarks, nagging parents, etc. can really make a big dent in their emotions/actions. Frankly, it is not the initial reaction for a helpless teen to surround themselves with hope, love, and support if they really don't know where or how to get it. Inspiration, motivation, genuine encouragement, and even being a friend can make a lasting impression to harness persistence through the adversity. Not only do I strive to love with action, but through teaching. As I soon enter the workforce as an elementary school teacher, a strong objective of mine is to foster meaningful relationships among students/peers by building classroom community and modeling to students how to address difficult situations. All in all, I encourage all readers to step out of comfort and be the difference. How can we be active in prevention? What difference can we make in the lives of those around us?
You are not alone. Together we can be resilient. However, this website is not to be used in place of therapy or other forms of help. Non-judgmental help is available 24-7: Call Crisis Link at 1-800-273-TALK(8255). Text with a Crisis Text Line specialist, by texting “TALK” to 741-741. (You can also go to your nearest emergency room or call 911.)
You can also chat online with a specialist at CrisisChat.org (between 2pm and 2am) or ImAlive.org. Many other links to various types of assistance are also available on our RESOURCES page. Help is out there. Reach out, for yourself, or for someone else.
I ended up falling into a category of being “just one of the Asians”. Ask any Asian student at my school- they know what I mean.
I grew up in Alexandria, Virginia. Demographically, the area and my peers were a lot more diverse than my high school in Fairfax, Virginia. I was accustomed to being with many more African-American and Hispanic students (I am Asian). The acceptance and friendships were easy because I had grown up with many of my friends throughout elementary school and into middle school.
The summer before high school, I moved to Fairfax and began high school. There, I noticed an immediate shift. Not only was I a new kid, I was also immersed in an unknown social atmosphere. I was not used to seeing so many Asian students in a school. Frankly, the socioeconomic shift was alarming to me. I ended up falling into a category of being “just one of the Asians”. Ask any Asian student at my school- they know what I mean.
I stressed over making new friends, fitting in, and academics all at once. Furthermore as a girl, I was dealing with extreme insecurity and belonging issues. It was beyond painful. I fell into depression (in my opinion, severely) during my freshman and most of my sophomore year of high school. It lessened toward my upper-class years, but I still carried a lot of bitterness/anger throughout high school, because I hated where I was and I felt like no one related to my experiences/personality. Thus, the thought of suicide was occasionally a fleeting thought. In the end, I just slept a lot and ate a lot without anyone, hope, or help.
My parents did not play an active role in helping to treat my depression. Furthermore (based solely on my own personal experiences, and the experiences of my friends), many Asian parents have not yet accepted the idea of psychological illnesses or needs. For many, it is unacceptable to see a psychologist/psychiatrist or receive help/support such as this. Whether my parents were convinced that I was actually depressed or were in denial about it, no one even mentioned the thought of me seeing a counselor or having a mentor, and it is something that saddens me. I wish I knew I had that option, and maybe I may have found hope earlier.
Another stereotype about Asian parents, which also holds true for many non-Asian parents as well, is the pressure that is put on the children. They invest all their time and energy making sure their children are successful (not only because it looks good, but because it’s sometimes their retirement plan). With the ever increasing standards to get into college these days, high school students are bombarded with extreme pressures of balancing academic, social, and extracurricular activities. Many parents, Asian or not, may not even realize that they contribute to these high expectations.
Personally, both time and graduation from high school were my liberation, but every individual is different. I just remember that high school was really tough to deal with. With gradual acceptance of my predicament and powerlessness to change the school I was in, I attempted to just blend in and embrace the little enjoyment I was offered with certain courses. Art as well as AP English served as a brief outlet during those days because I did feel a lot safer and comfortable in those classes. In my belief, it's the teachers that foster that community. In general, I carried a lot of bitterness/anger throughout high school, because I hated where I was and I felt like no one related to my experiences or personality.
It is hope for something or anything that really pulls students through. In retrospect, for me, that was something that was found in college. It was never discovered or seemed available in high school. It’s knowing that one can and will get through it especially with the support that does exist. I think that many times, when a student is drowning in hopeless, self-deprecating thoughts, the smallest experiences such as bullying, snide remarks, nagging parents, etc. can really make a big dent in their emotions/actions. Frankly, it is not the initial reaction for a helpless teen to surround themselves with hope, love, and support if they really don't know where or how to get it. Inspiration, motivation, genuine encouragement, and even being a friend can make a lasting impression to harness persistence through the adversity. Not only do I strive to love with action, but through teaching. As I soon enter the workforce as an elementary school teacher, a strong objective of mine is to foster meaningful relationships among students/peers by building classroom community and modeling to students how to address difficult situations. All in all, I encourage all readers to step out of comfort and be the difference. How can we be active in prevention? What difference can we make in the lives of those around us?
You are not alone. Together we can be resilient. However, this website is not to be used in place of therapy or other forms of help. Non-judgmental help is available 24-7: Call Crisis Link at 1-800-273-TALK(8255). Text with a Crisis Text Line specialist, by texting “TALK” to 741-741. (You can also go to your nearest emergency room or call 911.)
You can also chat online with a specialist at CrisisChat.org (between 2pm and 2am) or ImAlive.org. Many other links to various types of assistance are also available on our RESOURCES page. Help is out there. Reach out, for yourself, or for someone else.
